


always the first star that i find

by ZephyrEden



Series: even in the darkness, we'll still have each other [1]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Stargazing, aqua is more playful now that she doesn't have to be serious all the time, but honestly who could blame him, contemplation about the nature of the worlds, meteor showers, minor contemplation about self worth, post xehanort saga, terra is dumb and in love, that's kinda only there if you know how i was gonna finish a thought, these kids are hard workers and they're determined to rebuild their lives and everything in them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 21:38:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15204017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZephyrEden/pseuds/ZephyrEden
Summary: It doesn't matter if the Land of Departure is barely in livable condition when they get there; it's their home and they'll do whatever it takes to restore it back to it's former glory. But ambitions don't soften the ache in your heart and home only means so much unless you have someone to return to. Luckily, they have each other.





	always the first star that i find

There’s a deep-seated sense of sorrow that comes with returning home after being away for so long. Because Castle Oblivion isn’t home, was never home, so it didn’t feel as wrong to return there, not when having good reason. But with promises kept and the danger blown over for now, Aqua knows exactly what she has to do.

That’s why she still can’t swallow past the lump in her throat.

“Aqua…?” Terra calls quietly, a question lingering in his tone.

“I’m okay,” she answers immediately. That’s always her answer despite it never being the truth, especially not when it echoes around the empty room and leaves her spine rigid in response. She takes a deep breath, trying to fill her lungs past full capacity as she steps forward to face the back of the throne that Ventus occupied until recently. She summons her keyblade and holds it up, confident arms refusing to tremble. She hears a small sound of surprise from the man behind her when a keyhole appears and she pushes forward, unlocking it for the first time in over a decade, one she can barely remember.

It’s blinding. Everything, bathed in a light that shines far too brightly only to fade away as quickly as it came. Neither are as prepared as they thought they were for the sight.

It shouldn’t be a surprise. The Land of Departure was already a wreck before Aqua had the chance to seal it so of course unlocking it wouldn’t just magically revert the damage, no matter how magical the transformation itself is. They walk out to the crumbling front steps to see just how bad it really is.

“This is my fault.”

Aqua turns around to see the agony painted across Terra’s face. The shame, the guilt, the anger – none of it compares to the all-encompassing devastation he feels as he relives the biggest regret of his life over and over and over again on loop in his head with perfect clarity.

“Oh, Terra…” She hopes he can’t hear her heart breaking with the words. She closes the distance between them and wraps her arms around his shoulders, unbothered when he doesn’t reciprocate.

“Don’t say it isn’t,” he warns, eyes fixated on the destruction he witnessed firsthand.

“Fine,” Aqua sighs, but squeezes him tighter. “It is all your fault. But it’s also my fault and Ven’s fault and Master Eraqus’ fault. It’s Xehanort’s fault. We’re all at fault, Terra, but you know what? It doesn’t matter whose fault it is anymore.”

“I helped destroy our home,” he whispers, something breaking inside him with the admittance of it.

“And now,” Aqua continues without losing any momentum, propping her chin on his chest so she can look up at him, “You can help rebuild it.”

That seems to snap him out of it. He looks down to meet Aqua’s deep blue eyes with his own. “Rebuild it?”

She smiles. “With me, of course.”

There’s a slight hesitation in his movements before he finds himself nodding, his arms wrapping loosely around her waist to complete the hold. “Okay then. We’ll rebuild it.”

 

~

 

Even as a lifelong practitioner of magic, Aqua is still amazed by how much it can do. It isn’t the answer to everything, of course, and nothing gets done without some old fashioned hard work and elbow grease, but she thinks the amount of progress she and Terra have made in the past few months is unbelievable. There’s still plenty more to go, but they’ve managed to get the castle and forecourt at least back to their previous condition and now, with twilight fading below the horizon, they can officially say that the sparring area on the summit is back in working order.

She knows she should be getting back to the castle, that Terra gets upset when she works so much that her meals get cold and that her aching muscles could really use a warm bath and soft bed to relax in. But…

She hikes higher up the summit, coming to the edge of the peak. She’s had time to mourn, to make peace with the fact that the sorrow that lies deep inside her bones will never fully fade, so she’s left with the swell of nostalgia that this place brings. There’s a trail of light out of the corner of her eye that has her raising her gaze to the sky above. Meteors streak across the velvet of the night, a sight just as comforting as it is foreboding.

She’s not sure how long she stands there, staring, but she supposes it’s a fair bit when she hears someone approaching.

“Not quite the same without Ven, huh?” Terra asks with a slight chuckle. He’s still not very good at hiding the forced edge to it.

She turns to greet him, caught off guard when she finds him settling down in the grass not far behind her. He pats the space beside him then lies down and she can’t help the giggle that comes from her throat unwarranted as she moves. “No, it’s not the same,” she answers once she’s lying beside him, both of them looking towards the thousands of stars above. “But maybe it’s not so different, either. After all, we all share the same sky. I’m sure Ven is watching the meteor shower with us, just like before.”

Terra feels his heart swell at the thought. “Do you think these meteors…”

“If it is a world,” Aqua answers his uncompleted thought, “Then I’m sure we’ll find out about it and we’ll be there to help set things right.”

“It’s weird,” Terra mumbles. Part of him wonders if it’s okay for him to wish on every meteor that passes. “Being able to do this now, actually working and acting as a wielder. We never did that before.”

“There wasn’t much reason for us to do it before. We may have won, but there’s no denying the darkness still lingering out there, ready to attack other worlds.”

“And you don’t think it was like that before?” he questions seriously. He might despise Xehanort and everything he’s done, everything he’s put him through, but he can’t deny that there are still questions that remain in the back of his mind because of the former Master’s words.

If she stares at just the right spot in space, a spot where no stars exist and no meteors disturb the night, she can feel the same suffocating timeless darkness envelop her until it feels like her ribs are being crushed. She’s spent long enough in the Realm of Darkness to know that, if anything, it’s ageless and that means its part of a battle that will never be won. “Maybe-“ she starts but it feels like she’s choking. Terra pushes himself up, hovering over her to make sure she’s fine. She waves him off with an uneasy smile. “I’m okay.”

He warily lays back down. Those are the two words from her he’s learned to never believe.

She clears her throat and inhales deeply to try to ease the ache in her lungs. “Maybe,” she begins again, her voice softer now. “Maybe we were never needed before.” She doesn’t let the rest of her thought follow, but she knows Terra’s silence means he finished it himself.

The silence isn’t uncomfortable. When they were younger, it could be; back when quiet meant trouble or anger, they often tried to fill it. Now silence brings with it a sense of peace, an understanding of the other person and never feeling alone. They don’t need to talk or ask permission when it comes to seeking comfort anymore. It’s something they both need, so neither questions who it is that moves closer until their arms are pressed together from shoulder to wrist or why it feels more natural for their fingers to be laced together than to be apart.

Aqua isn’t good at perceiving the passage of time anymore, but she feels fairly certain that hours pass as they lie there in silent reverie.

“That star shaped fruit, the one you based the wayfinders off of,” Terra says suddenly, something strange in his tone. “Did you ever find it?”

“…I did,” Aqua answers after a moment and while she knows she first saw it long ago, back when Terra must have seen it himself, it’s the time in the Realm of Darkness that she spent lying on a crumbling beach that she thinks of.

Terra settles back down, unsure why that sudden jolt to his memory came about, but it feels important, like it’s something he’s been meaning to ask for a long time. “I did, too.”

“I know,” she nods, confirming her assumptions.

He raises an eyebrow, turning his head slightly to look at her. “You do?”

“Back when you performed the inheritance ceremony on Riku, right?” One corner of her lips rise, “I made it to the island after you, but I could tell that you did.”

“Oh.” He doesn’t know why he feels embarrassed. It’s no secret anymore that he performed the ceremony, everyone knows about it. Still, he almost feels like he’s been caught, regardless of the fact that he did nothing wrong.

“I wouldn’t mind getting a real one,” she continues, snapping Terra from his thoughts. “I wonder what they taste like. I bet if we asked, Sora would bring one to us. I bet he’d like to see how much work we’ve gotten done here.”

“Or we could just go there ourselves and take one,” Terra suggests instead. He thinks the sea might do some good for Aqua. “I wouldn’t mind visiting there again.”

She closes her eyes, her lips stretching into a small content smile. “We could. Would you share one with me?”

The question catches him off guard. He props himself up on his elbow, making sure he can get a good look at her. “…Do you really have to ask?”

She opens her eyes again, her smile shifting into a smirk that makes Terra’s heart race far too quickly for it to be good for his health. “It’s called being polite,” she says pointedly, as if he had never learned the concept.

“It’s _called_ worrying me with unnecessary questions.” He _knows_ she knows the answer. He knows she knows how he feels. He cups her face, threading his fingers through her hair and adoring the way the cool blue strands look against his warm tanned skin. “Of course I would. In fact, I think you’d have a harder time trying to keep it to yourself.”

“Is that so?” she asks playfully, a breathy giggle in her voice. “Then maybe I’ll just have to play a game of keep away, instead.”

He grins at her, determined. “I won’t lose.”

“That’s what you said last time we sparred,” she continues teasing and he swears he falls in love with her more every time she gets like this, every time he sees the version of her that survived the shadows and fights to live in the light. “But who’s the one currently in the lead five to three?”

He rolls his eyes and leans in closer. “Well, _Master_ Aqua I think _you’ve_ been spending too much time with _Master_ Riku.”

“Or _maybe,”_ she drawls before lifting a slender finger to poke the tip of his nose. “ _You’re_ just losing your touch. Are you finally ready to admit magic is better than brute strength?”

He leans in fully now until their foreheads are pressed together and he can practically feel the playful grin she’s wearing. “ _Never_ ,” he whispers against her lips and he means it. Because it’s not magic that’s better, it’s just everything _Aqua_ that’s better. It’s everything makes her _her_ that’s better. But he’s not ready to admit that just yet, either.

**Author's Note:**

> title is a line from the song [satellite//guster](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAkvb2Rhces)
> 
> [twitter](http://twitter.com/deepseasalt_) | [tumblr](http://deepseasalt.tumblr.com) | [carrd](http://zephyreden.carrd.co)


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